Geoff Duncan

This morning I found a note in my Inbox from an acquaintance: "Do you know if those guitars Volkswagen's giving away are any good? How much are they worth?" I'm both a musician and VW driver, so my correspondent apparently assumed I must know what he's talking about. Nope. I emited a pre-caffeinated "huh," closed the message without replying, then plodded off to placate the cats and get on with the morning. I figured some local VW dealer is doing a promotional stunt, like the Beatle Beetles from a few years ago.

Now it's later, I've had some coffee, and I've figured out what that message is about.

Turns out Volkswagen has launched a bizarre new marketing promotion under the monicker VDubsRock (click at your own risk) wherein they're giving away an electric guitar with every new VW Beetle, Rabbit, Jetta, and GTI sold in the U.S. through December 31, 2006. I don't pay much attention to auto ads, but I gather this is going to run concomitantly with VW's annoying new nihillist-German-engineer "umpimp your ride" campaign, which supposedly aims to prove VWs are just as German-engineered as BMWs, Mercedes, or (um) Daimler-Chryslers. The VDubsRock campaign has enlisted some celebs, including former G'n'R guitarslinger Slash (currently playing with Velvet Revolver), pop/rock phenom John Mayer (who, when he's not shilling Apple's GarageBand, sniffing around Jessica Simpson, or promoting his latest album, ain't a half-bad musician), Dweezil Zappa (offering online "lessons"), and Christopher Guest reprising his character of Nigel Tufnel from the movie Spinal Tap (you can see it now: "My Volkswagen goes to eleven"). And, trying to tap into that hip user-generated content space, VW will be hosting an Uber Rock God contest: users submit videos shredding on their own original material for the prize of a black-on-black GarageMaster.

"Owners of new VW models can transform their cars into mobile amps, with a newfound freedom to rock in the driveway, play at outdoor parties, or shred in the beach parking lot. New rockers will hit the road with a First Act GarageMaster guitar in the trunk, ready to stop and dispense riffs wherever the mood strikes."

—First Act

(OK. Gotta take a moment lest the excitement overcomes me.)

The GarageMaster guitar is made for VW by First Act and includes a battery-powered onboard pre-amp so it can connect directly to the (mini? stereo?) auxiliary audio input on the VW's audio system, normally intended or an iPod or other portable media player. This means you can your car stereo for a guitar amp. (Presumably, one should not do this while driving.) The guitar is dubbed the GarageMaster, will be available in four colors complementing VW models (white and black are pretty much guaranteed; I'd guess red and blue for the others.) The guitar's backplate will carry the new car's VIN, and knobs, truss rod cover, and 12th-fret inlay all carry VW logos. The design of the guitar itself is surprisingly OK, combining elements of (say) a Gibson's venerable SG with maybe retro bits lifted from designs from Hagstrom and even some oddball EKOs.

First Act is mainly known for marketing a variety of budget-oriented, entry-level, student- and child-oriented instruments—mainly acoustic and electric guitars, but also drums, violins, brass, and woodwinds—through Wal-Mart, Target, K-Mart, and other discount retailers. So far as I know, First Act instruments are made in China and the company itself is based in Boston. Like many makers, First Act strikes endorsement deals with performing artists to promote their brand, but it's important to note endorsees play custom instruments rather than the off-the-palette mass-market imports.

Guitars with onboard pre-amps aren't unheard of, but they usually fall into the toys-for-kids category, typically offering buttons with a clean sound, a crunchy sound, and maybe a spacy effect like a chorus, echo, or flanger. In the GarageMaster's case, the pre-amp uses V-Stack circuitry to emulate tones akin to analog guitar amps—V-Stack was a Canadian company acquired by First Act in 2005, and while I have no personal experience with their amp emulators, word a few years ago was that they sounded OK. Apparently the company lacked the momentum of Line 6 or Zoom, or the cache of Tech21's SansAmp and needed a buy-out.

In the case of the GarageMaster, the pre-amp would seem to serve two purposes. One is to crank the guitar's output up to line level so it can be plugged into the VW's audio system. Electric guitars normally shoot out an unbalanced, high-impedance signal which sounds both bad and way-too-quiet plugged into an input expecting a line-level signal, like a typical "line in" on a stereo. So the pre-amp fixes that.

Second, the pre-amp serves to make the guitar sound less than totally crappy. If you've ever plugged an electric guitar into a home stereo system, you know the results don't sound much like a guitar hero—even if you overcome that impedance problem using a pre-amp, stompbox or some other gear. (And I oughta know: for a few months in college, my practice amp was a boombox.) Why? A lot of electric guitar tone usually comes from a guitar's amp. Designs and voicings of guitar amps vary widely, and guitarists often develop strong preferences for certain amps and designs. For now, it's enough to know that while typical stereo systems are meant to provide clean sound reproduction true to the original source—a.k.a. fidelity—guitar amps take the opposite approach: they intentionally alter, distort, and color the sounds they produce to emphasize certain qualities. The GarageMaster's built-in V-Stack pre-amp tries to provide some of that guitar-amp color so the guitar sounds like an electric guitar through Volkswagen's built-in stereo.

So: is the GarageMaster any good? I can't tell you first-hand, as I've never set hands on one, and I'm not likely to ever do so. I can tell you that while the custom instruments First Act makes for its endorsers are probably pretty nice, the company's retail offerings generally aren't well regarded. Like many imported entry-level instruments, a few may play well enough—or, with some TLC, can be made to play well enough. I once had a piece-of-crap knock-off all-plywood acoustic guitar which (by materials, quality, and lineage) should have been good for little but kindling. But it was a great recording guitar for that heavy acoustic strumming thing. So it can happen.

However, for the most part, customers can expect these instruments to be made quickly, often with lower-quality parts and materials, and with minimal attention to detail. In guitars, this usually means low quality electronics, sloppy fretwork, poor setup and intonation, not-great woods, and poor build quality—which translates to misaligned parts, loose tuners, uneven frets (and sharp fret ends), cheap switches, stray glue, warped necks, finish issues, and pickups with all the characters of a wax-paper-and-comb kazoo. Many of these instruments will be given away or wind up in garages, closets, and attics as the cost to repair or upgrade them will often exceed the value of the instrument itself.

The GarageMaster sports a poplar body (which isn't necessarily bad: it'll be lightweight but probably lacks sustain), maple neck, rosewood fingerboard, dual humbuckers with three-way selector switch on the upper treble bout, tune-o-matic style stoptail bridge, single tone and volume controls, V-Stack tone selector and defeat, and a master volume.

So, to my still unnamed acquaintance: you can pick up a First Act guitar for $100 or less at a discount retailer near you; better models comparable to the GarageMaster probably run up to about $200 in entry-level focussed music stores. Used prices will run much lower.

And you'd be better off negotiating for an iPod to plug into your car stereo when you go Jetta shopping today.