Geoff Duncan

So, one of the taller species of flora growing in The Yard is odd. It resembles an onion or chive, sending up stalks which eventually develop pom-pom like flowers on top. They resemble a bulb-like plant, and they sort of smell like onions. We have about nine of these pom-poms about ready to open up.

However, unlike chives which top out between two or three feet when they're healthy, these would hit seven or eight feet if they stood up straight. The local specimens lean over to catch some sun, so they're only about five feet off the ground.

I've wondered what the proper name of these plants might be, but yesterday, as the pom-poms began to open, splitting their husks to unfurl the flowers underneath, I decided what they're called. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Burton Onion.

The Burton Onion

Why? Because to my eye, these things look very much like a character who might have walked out of the stop-motion films The Nightmare Before Christmas or The Corpse Bride—perhaps appearing as a town burgher or minor church official. Especially with that pointy hat.