Geoff Duncan

It's a tough call: I can't decide which of these modern devices is most responsible for the decline of civilization:

• SUVs
• Electric guitars, or
  
• Goddamn leaf blowers

All my windows are closed. All my doors are closed. (It's winter!) But there's been a "landscaper" outside with a blower for about a half hour now, and both my smoke detector and carbon monoxide detector are going off.

And it's winter! The leaves! Gone! Nothing to blow around!