Geoff Duncan

I'm standing in the new checkout line at the local Trader Joe's, which is currently undergoing a "please pardon our dust!" remodeling which, I assume, will enable the staff to move large swathes of inventory around the store at breathtaking new speeds, thus ensuring no customer ever knows where anything can be found.

So I'm standing in line and the person in front of me is having all sorts of trouble with the new card reader for their debit card: they swish it through, the machine beeps madly, then stops. The person swishes it through again, the machine beeps madly, and stops. The checker stands with a bemused look on her face: she's completely locked out of the transaction, able to do nothing but make the register beep madly.

After a few lather-rinse-repeat cycles of this, an irate manager strides over at high speed, face flushed, and practically spits at the checker: "What's your problem?! Do you know what your problem is?!"

The checker turns to the manager calmly and says "Yes, sir. My problem is that I can use the word dewlap correctly in conversation. I'm trying to work through it, sir, please be patient with me."

The manager pauses, thinks about trying to say something loud and authority-like which won't reveal his ignorance, decides against it, then spins on his heel and leaves.

The customer at the checkout stand grins. "This is only $12; can we just do cash?"