Geoff Duncan

So last night, my hot water heater committed ritual suicide. I know that sounds like a bad thing, but you have no idea how traumatizing it was to my indoor-only cats.

And you know how they cook lobster by boiling it alive? I've now had a little firsthand experience with that, since the shut-off valve for the water heater is at ceiling level behind the 50-gallon drum spewing scalding hot fluid. Sure, the lobsters look like they're having a good time, but trust me: they're not.