I met Cary in Cambridge, MA, sometime in the 1970s. As I recall, I saw his slide lecture at Harvard on Visual Perception and Art (that was roughly the title, anyway). After the lecture, I complimented him and maybe I made a few remarks about his being a Renaissance man. Not too long after that I got to see his film on nematodes. Early on, I remember thinking that this man had enough intelligence to satisfy the normal needs of 3 people and still have a lot of brain left over. He was always, beneath his brashness, a shy person, and difficult to get to know. I would like Meredith, and Nathaniel, whom I have never met, to know how much I admired him the first time I saw him interact with small children. I remember thinking at the time "goodness-I hope this man has children someday! This is a side of him that that is really wonderful." We kept in touch over the years, as one or the other of us breezed into Boston or to New York or Washington or Seattle, or as he called me asking if I knew any African American experts in flatworms, or women hematologists, or Hispanic paleobotanists or whatever he hope to find for an upcoming filming of 3-02-1-Contact. We had lunch together here last year on one of his trips to Washington.
Ellen, at a time like this, we must share the funny memories and stories, so I will share this one, and I hope you don't mind. I met Ellen at or near the time that she and Cary met, and I remember saying something to Cary about how wonderful Ellen was. (There was a strong hint of "Look, you dope, this is the right one, so don't blow it" in my analysis.) Well, they dated for some time, and not much seemed to happen. When I finally found out they were actually getting married (yippee!!!), I said to Ellen, very privately "Gee, Ellen, I was really worried that he would get cold feet--I'm delighted this worked out." Her reply: "He's spent years getting cold feet, but his feet are finally warmed up now!"
So, for you who knew the very professional Cary, I paint this picture of a warmly, genuinely caring man. And for you two, his children, please know that he loved all children, but the light in his eyes when he spoke of you last year, and seemingly diffidently pulled out pictures of you, was wonderful to see. I have lost a good friend.
My warmest thoughts to Ellen, Meredith, and Nathaniel.
Lynne Corn